I got my first-ever UGLY UGLY UGLY comment on my other blog. My humor blog (which even I admit is only funny to a particularly warped segment of the population and even those people only total about .01% of the literate portion of the country) has never had a hateful comment and I have to say, it was pretty unnerving.
Some random person who didn’t have the guts to reveal his name read THIS POST about how Carrie told me she wants to be a Viking when she grows up. She and I had had an awesome back and forth verbal exchange going, but I admit I panicked a little bit when she began describing the way she would slaughter whole towns full of people. It was one of those things that is funny in hindsight, and I blogged about it.
Today, some Johnny-come-lately who finally got around to reading it even thought I posted it in MARCH left the following (censored) remark on my website:
Random internet user: jesus, are you serious? your D put together a fairly coherent thought/fantasy and all you have to say is “god help me.” Really? F*ck you (the censorship there was mine, not the commenter’s…and he didn’t even read the post correctly, since the “god help me” part was me asking for forgiveness for telling my daughter she could be one of the NFL Minnesota Vikings when she grows up)
Here is my well-thought out and respectful reply:
Dear Dipwad Who Commented Anonymously and Hatefully on My Blog,
You’re a total sh*t. You don’t effin’ know me, so don’t you dare judge my relationship with my daughter. You weren’t in the room when I kept this conversation going, you weren’t there when I reached for my iPad to record the whole conversation. You weren’t there when I burned the dinner I had been working on for an hour, just to keep her talking to me. Don’t you dare judge me, you asshat. If you ever want to verbally drag me down, leave your name and address like a grown up.
That response sounded pretty rehearsed, didn’t it? That’s because it was. I’ve had years of practice telling people to mind their own business or telling them that if they want to tell me how to raise my daughter, they’re welcome to come to my house every morning at 3am when she wakes up, just so they’ll know what the hell they’re talking about when they correct me.
I have a point, I promise. Do NOT second guess yourself. If you know that you are doing the best you can, that your child is safe and happy and his needs are being met, everyone else can disappear. You are doing just fine without their input. If you’re not doing just fine, we’ll get you help. But the kind of help this commenter had to offer was completely inappropriate and quite frankly, I got this, thank you very much.