I got my first-ever UGLY UGLY UGLY comment on my other blog. My humor blog (which even I admit is only funny to a particularly warped segment of the population and even those people only total about .01% of the literate portion of the country) has never had a hateful comment and I have to say, it was pretty unnerving.
Some random person who didn’t have the guts to reveal his name read THIS POST about how Carrie told me she wants to be a Viking when she grows up. She and I had had an awesome back and forth verbal exchange going, but I admit I panicked a little bit when she began describing the way she would slaughter whole towns full of people. It was one of those things that is funny in hindsight, and I blogged about it.
Today, some Johnny-come-lately who finally got around to reading it even thought I posted it in MARCH left the following (censored) remark on my website:
Random internet user: jesus, are you serious? your D put together a fairly coherent thought/fantasy and all you have to say is “god help me.” Really? F*ck you (the censorship there was mine, not the commenter’s…and he didn’t even read the post correctly, since the “god help me” part was me asking for forgiveness for telling my daughter she could be one of the NFL Minnesota Vikings when she grows up)
Here is my well-thought out and respectful reply:
Dear Dipwad Who Commented Anonymously and Hatefully on My Blog,
You’re a total sh*t. You don’t effin’ know me, so don’t you dare judge my relationship with my daughter. You weren’t in the room when I kept this conversation going, you weren’t there when I reached for my iPad to record the whole conversation. You weren’t there when I burned the dinner I had been working on for an hour, just to keep her talking to me. Don’t you dare judge me, you asshat. If you ever want to verbally drag me down, leave your name and address like a grown up.
That response sounded pretty rehearsed, didn’t it? That’s because it was. I’ve had years of practice telling people to mind their own business or telling them that if they want to tell me how to raise my daughter, they’re welcome to come to my house every morning at 3am when she wakes up, just so they’ll know what the hell they’re talking about when they correct me.
I have a point, I promise. Do NOT second guess yourself. If you know that you are doing the best you can, that your child is safe and happy and his needs are being met, everyone else can disappear. You are doing just fine without their input. If you’re not doing just fine, we’ll get you help. But the kind of help this commenter had to offer was completely inappropriate and quite frankly, I got this, thank you very much.
I recently received a comment I’m not quite sure ow to handle. While it isn’t aimed at me, it is hate speech in general. My instinct is to trash it, but… yeah… So, I’m in a pickle. I love the way you’ve handled this. Bravo, Lorca.
Thanks! It’s hard…the instinct is to going on a rampage (because my blog shows me all commenters’ email addresses and IP numbers), but am I really going to change this person’s mind, or just infect cyberspace with another ugly exchange? It’s a real dilemma.
Sorry you have to deal with nasty bloggers. I’ve had to deal with that before–not so much on my blog but in terms of editing my writing. Some people like to be negative and nasty just for the sake of being negative and nasty. It’s too bad those people can’t figure out the secret of life: positive encouragement and mind one’s own business! I appreciated your post.
Thanks! It really bugged me as a writer and a blogger, but in those realms I am kind of opening myself up to the opinions of others. When it comes to how we parent our children, though, the remarks or criticisms from other people were not invited. I hope parents took that away from my post…don’t let others bring you down!
Loved the ‘asshat’ remark!!
Many (even some of those on the Spectrum) can’t appreciate the moment between a parent and a child, and can’t just take it for what it is: a moment in time you felt important about to record and remember.
Thanks! I try to keep the profanity to a minimum on my autism blog because I would hate for someone who is desperately looking for practical advice to be turned off by my language, but I think just this once it was completely justified!
I think that’s really what’s bothering me: yes, I invited the entire internet to witness that conversation, but it was a fun and happy moment in both our lives. This commenter had to make me out to be a monster for blogging about it in a humorous way. Sad.
You handled it extremely well. Eff him.
Thanks! I think we should go toilet paper his yard together and then go have margaritas. Or just the margaritas!
Hi Lorca, I’m glad to find this blog … but I have a question: where’s the hate comment? I went to your original post and could only find nice/friendly comments. I get hateful comments all the time and I love them … the more hateful the comments, the more hits I get … the opposite of love is not hate
Sorry, I took the original comment down because of the profanity. No one cusses on my blog but me!
Truly, it wasn’t the profanity so much as the religious slur, so I would hate for someone unprepared to see it. Thanks for reading, though!!!
The internet offers cowards anonymity. I’d like to see him say it to your face – only … he’d never have the balls to. Good response though.
eden
Well, not if he wanted to keep the balls!